Mega Yasheth: The Best Figure You’ll Never See

Honorable Mention – March Article Contest
by: Ryan Huber

As a relatively recent H.P. Lovecraft aficionado and immediate Cthulhu fan-and-cultist, it was with almost indecent pleasure that I discovered the “Lords of Cthul” faction for Monsterpocalypse. This is Privateer Press’ most recent offering, coming rather fortuitously for any Mythos fans after the ill-fated run of HorrorClix (for whom, it would appear, the stars were not right). It must be said that there is something nicely lurid in seeing Cthulhu-clones and their minions rampaging through a city in an Ultraman-like fashion. Throw in some ‘War of the Worlds’-type Martians, and it seems as though someone’s fanfiction prayers have been answered. The Mega Yasheth limited figure is one of Series 1’s must-haves, capable of devastation in the hands of a skilled player.

It is therefore a pity that most of us will likely never – ever – see one.

Privateer Press’ prize-support record has been fairly strong compared to their competitors: not all packages arrive in time for the events, but they do arrive. Their policy of including limited figures for their “Press Gangers” – those official volunteers who run their events at local venues – has always seemed a nice thanks for the time of those who choose to donate it. In general, it also meant that there are typically a few extra event-exclusive figures in the hands of those who may be entirely willing to trade them to you, without the inclusion of property deeds and firstborn children in the deal. Sadly, this trend does not extend to Mega Yasheth, who, if rumors are to be believed, will only arrive in prize kits if the appropriate eldritch chants are spoken in the unspeakable tongues of the Elder Gods when Aldebaran is aligned with Polaris and R’lyeh defaults on its utility bills. Or, you know, it might also be random.

It does mean, however, that one of the most desirable figures (to H.P.L. fans, at least, to say nothing of other grasping players) is also the most limited. While this scarcity is not to the same extent as WizKid’s “Marvel Zombies” Hero- and HorrorClix crossover fiasco – roughly 1000 complete sets in theory, and rather less since some were damaged and could not be replaced – it is vexing nevertheless. For those who play the Lords of Cthul faction exclusively, the difficulty in obtaining Mega Yasheth – only figure within the current complement with Annihilate, capable of dealing two damage points – evokes despair. While very Lovecraftian, it is also frustrating. It might not be so bad, granted, if Mega Yasheth only had Annihilate. He does, however, also manage to gain the Cloak ability (take that, Mega Sky Sentinel!) and gifts himself and all his units with Berserk. The stars are most certainly right for anyone who cannot be targeted from more than a few spaces away and who also dispenses extra Brawl dice to all their underlings; just because you might be a horror from beyond space doesn’t mean than you can’t be generous.

Mega Yasheth could devastate a map and so his scarcity might not be an entirely bad thing. Even so, the Lords of Cthul are not invulnerable: they have notoriously low health and Mega Yasheth is no exception. Mega Yasheth lacks the Vampirism ability of his standard- and Ultra forms, and so he must rely on the Bleed ability of Meat Slaves alone to restore health. A health of 5 makes him extremely vulnerable to Power Attacks. As an entirely random example – this having in no way actually happened to me in a real match – any Lord of Cthul form, with the exception of Cthugrosh’s normal form, can be killed by one Throw attack through three buildings and into a hazard space.

Regardless whether you want it in order to have a complete set, because you like the Lords of Cthul faction, because you like Lovecraftian creatures in general, or because you’re a nasty little git who just wants to deprive someone else of a figure (it takes all kinds, right?), Mega Yasheth is definitely going to be one of the must-have pieces for Monsterpocalypse. One might only hope that its rarity at present does not make it into the miniature-gaming equivalent of a Sasquatch sighting, or relegate it to the status of urban legend.

By the way, my best friend’s sister heard from a friend of a friend that they saw a Mega Yasheth…