(In outrageous French accent) Hello, my name is Jacque. You may remember me from my Bermuda Adventures show. While I would have loved to continue showing you ze wonders of the deep, ze show had to be cancelled due to lack of willing camera men and ze personal loss of both my legs in a giant fish mishap. So, I now come to you on ze small screen to talk to you about my second love, cheese! Welcome to Jacques Cheese Squeeze! Today, we will be discussing an infamous blue cheese, known as ze Zors. Let’s jump right in!

You may be surprised to know that crab and cheese have very little in common!:

Thank you for the obvious Jacque. Mega Crustaceor certainly does not have many similarities with the Zors. In fact, he barely has anything similar at all. Being a pedestrian with low defense puts Crustaceor at a pretty large disadvantage, although almost all the ninjas have 5 health like he does if that counts for anything. The largest similarity Crustaceor has to the Zors that can be helpful for him is his ability to deal 2 damage in both of his forms, which is something not all of the Zors can do. Other than that, Crustaceor has few strengths in common with the giant ninjas.

The resemblance is uncanny, especially when you consider that the blue stuff in the cheese is mold.

While ze blue cheese is quite strong, crab brings a whole new flavor to ze field that may not suit everyone’s taste:

Things certainly look bad for Crustaceor when he comes against a Zor, but despite the fact that he looks easy to kill, that doesn’t mean he necessarily is. The Zor monsters and units can easily take advantage of Crustaceors low defense, but that won’t completely help them when Crustaceor is dealing out more damage than they can. How can my crustacean do this you ask? With one simple action: Hoist. Whether I’m breaking an enemy screen, or setting up my own, Hoist allows me to do what the ninjas cannot (NOTE: The Zors can create a sudden screen with Red Command, but that requires them to move next to the slow Mecha Task master, and that’s not always possible to do). If there’s one thing the ninjas especially lack (besides healing), it’s the ability to break a screen and power attack the enemy monster in one turn. Only Mega Zor-Radien (and potentially Zor-Macros if he hypers up into alignment) can cut through a screen and attack Crustaceor in one turn. All the other ninjas must wait a turn after breaking my screen before being able to pull off a damaging power attack, unless I have set up another one by that time. Offensively, so long as the Zor player hasn’t created a double screen, Crustaceor can weave through any unit screen the ninja may try to hide behind by using Hoist. However, if the Zor has made it impossible for Crustaceor to move into alignment with him, my crustacean can still potentially brawl the ninja with Reach and Crunch, demolish a high occupancy building onto him, or swat a unit into him for 2 damage with Crunch. Zor players are going to have to be extra careful with their monster positioning when fighting Crustaceor.

Did you know zat crab has more health benefits zan ze blue cheese?:

While I’m not sure if that statement is true in the culinary world, it certainly is when Crustaceor comes across a Zor. Healing is immensely powerful when your opponent cannot do it, so munching on building snacks will be crucial in Crustaceors strategy against a Zor. I’ll try to place High Occupancy buildings in key positions mid board so that my chances of pulling off the demolish + healing combo can increase dramatically. You may wonder why I plan to place most of my HO buildings in the center of the map instead of on my side. Well, playing against Zors has an extra benefit for nature monsters since both buildings with Underground Network (Skyscraper and Hotel) also have HO. Considering most Zor players try to put such buildings on the opponents side to take full advantage of Underground Network, I can easily run back to base and heal from those generously donated buildings. Crustaceor won’t be the only one bringing chips to this party.

Let me show you my ultimate blue cheese recipe:

So how exactly do I plan to defeat the Zors with Crustaceor? My recipe for pain can be broken down into three simple steps (In other words, a macro strategy).

#1: Absolutely 0 p-die!

While just about every monster suffers without p-die, Zors suffer especially so. Since many of the Zors do not have access to 2 damage in every form, they must rely on power attacks to make up for that, and thus they need lots of p-dice. Due to the fact that Sun Drones need the buildings they are next to secured in order for their Satellite Support to activate, simply soft disrupting a building they are securing can instantly dry up a Zors power pool. An added bonus is that Sun Drones are often securing a High Occupancy building, so disrupting it not only cuts off the Zors p-die production, but it also hurts their mobility. Hard disruption is naturally much more effective since it completely eliminates a building those little Sun Drones could stick to, but most buildings used in a SSS army have high defense, so I find it typically better to just soft disrupt with my units.

#2: Absolutely 0 power attacking!

Even if I manage to disrupt nearly every effort of my Zor opponent trying to produce p-die through a power base, he has probably gained some through the nearly immoveable Robo Brotox, his own units attacking mine, and by brawling a building with his monster. Considering this fact, I’m going to have to make sure that I keep Crusty protected with a screen at nearly all times. With Hoist and Synch Move it shouldn’t be too much trouble to keep the enemy ninja from throwing me into the building I plan to body slam him into momentarily.

#3: Absolutely no healing (for the Zor)!

It’s quite possible that the Zor and Crustaceor will keep themselves well screened for most of the game and that they will just keep trading 2 damage attacks with the Zor’s units occasionally pinging Crustaceor for 1 damage or that Crustaceor will have a high-damage power attack pulled off on him. When this happens, I’m going to have to take advantage of the fact that I can get a hit point back while the Zor cannot. Depending on the situation, I might be able to go without healing by keeping ahead of the damage curve with Crunch in Power attacking. However, should the time arise where I realize healing could keep a form alive one more turn (or I can demolish a HO building onto the enemy Zor), I won’t hesitate to munch a building.

Well zat ends zis episode of Jacques Cheese Squeeze! Now I know you were probably wondering why I kept comparing cheese to crab, and my answer is zat I just got a huge shipment for free from zat GAURD organization. They say it was found crawling out on ze beach terrorizing sun bathers. Zis crab must have been big because I have more meat than I know what to do with! Well, I hope to see you next time and…wait, what is zat outside ze window? It…it’s huge! Ginormous! Sacre Bleu! It’s a giant crustacean ze size of a skyscraper! It’s coming toward zis building! It’s looking right at us! We have to get out of here right… *kzzt*